Is the road to hell really paved with good intentions?

Perhaps this proverb conceals one of our brain’s oldest biases.

Years after making a decision, we judge whether it was “right” by looking at its outcome. If the outcome is bad, we say, “I made the wrong decision.” Yet the decision was made using the information available at the time.

Why did I choose that relationship, why did I vote for that person, why did I leave that job, or why did I start working there….

In the literature, this is described by two concepts: outcome bias and hindsight bias. A meta-analysis of 122 studies shows that even professionals are not immune to this distortion (Roese & Vohs, 2012). When two people make the same decision and act with the same intention, the one whose outcome is bad is judged to be “more negligent” (Kneer & Skoczeń, 2021).

So is all regret unwarranted? No — there is an exception. The literature on ACT and metacognitive therapy (MCT) identifies a category called “experiential avoidance”: decisions made to avoid feeling a difficult emotion. These move us away from our values and narrow our lives. In a meta-analysis of 39 randomized controlled trials of ACT (N=1,821), values-guided action significantly reduces psychological distress — g = 0.57 (A-Tjak et al., 2014).

Two questions to ask about a moment when you made a decision: (1) “Given the information I had at the time, did I act in line with my values?” If so, regret is not a judgment, but sadness. (2) “Did I make this decision to avoid feeling a difficult emotion?” If so, regret is a genuine signal.

What matters is not being able to say, “I did the right thing.” Assuming we could have known exactly what was right at the time is itself a bias. What really matters is: “With the information I had at the time, and with my brain as it was then, I did the best I could.”

If things turn out well, we feel happy; if they turn out badly, we feel sad. But a decision made in line with our values, rather than out of avoidance — regardless of its outcome — counts, in retrospect, as having truly lived. That is what living really means.

For scientific sources → CLICK HERE